Consider your agency’s response to the following:
Do you have information and advice available for anyone experiencing domestic violence ?
Would you know where to get help for a victim of violence ?
Do you know about the local Domestic Abuse meetings ? Do you have a representative ?
Do you have current leaflets, cards, stickers, posters, directories ?
Do you know there is Domestic Violence training available ?
Can your organisation provide quiet/private space for victims to disclose information ?
Do you have a Domestic Violence Policy ?
Do your staff / colleagues understand the importance of confidentiality re domestic abuse ?
Have you got copies of the Safety Planning leaflet ?
Are you on the mailing list to recieve domestic abuse information ?
You should ALWAYS:
Believe the victim and support them to increase their safety
You should NEVER:
Encourage victims to leave without safety planning. This is the most dangerous time for them
Attempt mediation between the perpetrator and the victim
Refer the perpetrator to anger management
Considerations for workers when supporting victims of domestic abuse
Each victim is the expert on their life; respect their choices - You will see common themes and patterns, but each victim’s experience is unique. They may make decisions that worry you, like staying with or returning to an abusive partner. You may not agree with everything they say or do but this is their life.
Safety is the priority - A crucial first step in any intervention with a victim is to think about the likelihood of on-going or escalating harm. Inquests held to examine intimate partner homicides often conclude that the victim suspected their partner or ex-partner had the potential to kill. Other work suggests that victim’s sense of risk is distorted by chronic victimisation or the socialization to be polite and non-assertive or to hope for the best. The victim may need an outside perspective to grasp the gravity of her situation. Or she may readily recognize the danger and look to you for help. It is essential that you work with partner agencies such as the police.
Seek to understand each victim, in all their complexity - Before starting to deliver your service, check if yours is the service they want. Don’t assume abuse is the only problem in their life. Their needs may encompass a variety of issues perhaps including health concerns, mental health issues, need for legal advice, housing, or any of a dozen other areas. In their mind, relationship issues may be the least of their worries at this moment. Help the victim to tell you what she/he needs and be prepared to refer her elsewhere if necessary.
Be aware of the power imbalance between the helper and the helped - Abuse is the misuse of power. Explain everything you will do including any drawbacks of your service, clarify limits on your promise of confidentiality, emphasise that your assistance is optional and they can opt out; proceed at their pace. The victim should be an active participant in the process, not a passive recipient.
Don’t give advice; help them to identify and assess choices - Giving advice is essentially telling them what to do. Perhaps that’s what their partner did. Giving advice also accentuates the power imbalance between you (the expert) and them. There will be choices and options that the victim is not yet aware of. Or they may need help assessing the pros and cons of the available options. Help them to gain enough information to make their own chioces.
Be aware of messages hidden in well-meaning words - Having good intentions doesn’t guarantee our words and actions are helpful.
"Why did he hit you" - “Why didn’t you leave?” - The victim may interpret things in many different ways – they could feel judged; other (normal) people wouldn’t put up with that treatment, or you are crazy to love someone like that. They could feel blamed for being a victim. They could feel alone and misunderstood; that person doesn’t know how difficult leaving is, how many factors they have weighed up, how much they still question myself etc.
Listen more than talk - Understanding what a victim wants, requires listening. As helpers, we want to offer insight, solutions or helpful suggestions, so it can be difficult to stay quiet. Good listening also sends a powerful statement that they are worthy of your time and attention, you are interested in their situation, and someone understands them without judgement.