Understanding the Signs of Domestic Abuse: The Signs

Women's Aid North East Lincolnshire
Nov 18
3 min read

A Clear Guide for Anyone Who Is Worried

TLDR: Domestic abuse is not always loud or visible. It can be physical, emotional, financial, sexual or rooted in coercive control. This guide explains the signs to look out for, the behaviours people often miss and how someone can safely find support through Women’s Aid NEL.

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Understanding Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse is not defined by one incident. It is a pattern of behaviours used to control, frighten or isolate someone. Many people think of physical violence first, but most abuse begins long before anything physical happens.

Women tell us that the earliest signs are often emotional, subtle and easy to dismiss until things escalate.

Domestic abuse can affect anyone at any age and in any type of relationship. If something feels worrying or confusing, it is always okay to reach out for support.

Common Signs of Domestic Abuse

Physical abuse

Physical abuse can include hitting, pushing, restraining, threats of harm or damage to property. It may also include preventing someone from seeking medical help or controlling medication.

Emotional and psychological abuse

This can be harder to recognise. It may involve blame, criticism, humiliation, name calling or unpredictable mood changes that leave someone feeling constantly on edge.

Many survivors describe feeling like they are “walking on eggshells” long before they realise they are being abused.

Coercive control

Coercive control is one of the most common forms of abuse. It creates fear, confusion and dependence. Signs include:

• Monitoring phones or social media

• Controlling who someone sees or speaks to

• Checking messages or tracking locations

• Creating rules about appearance, behaviour or routines

• Intense jealousy presented as love or concern

• Punishing withdrawal of affection or communication

This type of abuse can be deeply damaging and is often missed by friends and family.

Financial abuse

Financial control can include taking someone’s money, controlling access to accounts, restricting spending, forcing debt or preventing someone from working.

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse includes pressure, coercion, manipulation or any sexual act without consent. It can happen within relationships and marriages.

Digital abuse

This includes threats, monitoring, hacking accounts, controlling passwords or using technology to intimidate or track someone.

Signs Others May Notice

Sometimes the clearest signs are changes in a person’s behaviour or wellbeing. These may include:

• Becoming withdrawn or unusually quiet

• Avoiding social situations

• Making excuses for a partner’s behaviour

• Visible stress or anxiety

• Sudden financial struggles

• Always checking in with a partner before making decisions

• Unexplained injuries or vague explanations for injuries

• Discomfort when receiving messages or calls

These changes can be easy to overlook, especially when someone is trying hard to hide what is happening.

If You Are Worried About Yourself or Someone Else

If something does not feel right, trust that feeling. You do not need proof and you do not have to be certain. You can talk to us confidentially at any time.

Women’s Aid NEL offers:

• A 24 hour support line

• Safe accommodation

• Emotional support

• Specialist children’s support

• Practical help with planning and safety

You are not alone and you will never be judged for reaching out.